Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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