Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I got "discovered a new religion high" last night

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(407): View more from Florida

mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.

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(310): View more from California

I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.

(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

At what part of the night did you guys leave?

(406): View more from Montana

After my hot tub cannonball.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

I know but these gold fish are so much better

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(936): View more from Texas

Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.

(936): View more from Texas

Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!

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