It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize