There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
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Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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