She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
