hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
