I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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