I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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