Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
