Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
