idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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