thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
