he puts the penis in happiness.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
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I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
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I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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