are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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