I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
