Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We talked him into tasing himself.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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