Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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