i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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