we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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