She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
