Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
