I wish I could teleport
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize