I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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