return my video game
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize