I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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