You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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