I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
whose parrot is this?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
