I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
