remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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