Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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