Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
