You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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