Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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