Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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