Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
