you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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