your room smells of hookers.
And success
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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