My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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