there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
