I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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