i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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