he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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