i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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