I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
