I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
