After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
