dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize