He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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