remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
