Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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