and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
don't judge my taste in strippers
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
