she woke up with a sticky ear
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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