Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize